


A Conspiracy of Love

by somewhereelse



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:49:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somewhereelse/pseuds/somewhereelse
Summary: Bless the season when the whole world engages in a conspiracy of love. And by whole world, we mean a 12-year-old boy with a single father. And by conspiracy, we mean a science experiment onlove.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 30
Kudos: 225





	A Conspiracy of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I’m baaaack. Sort of. Turns out my brain can only hold one (1) hyperfixation at a time?
> 
> (Be gentle. I am both rusty and lacking in any idea of how 12-year-olds actually act.)

**_Once upon a time, there lived a young man named William Clayton._ **

**_Unlike the fairy tale protagonists of old, young William possessed a dedicated father, a devoted mother, a dependable stepfather, a dozen doting aunts and uncles, and a dearth of despicable step-siblings._ **

**_With such an idyllic life absent of orphanages, what, pray tell, qualifies young William’s story for inclusion in our anthology?_ **

**_In one regard, William is no different than our previous heroes. You see, young William is on a quest. And his is no ordinary quest._ **

**_Dear reader, this is a quest for_ love _._**

* * *

“Oliver, are you sure? We can’t keep giving into his demands like this.”

William sits at the top of the stairs of his mother’s house, eavesdropping on his parents below. His father was supposed to have already left, hence why William had retreated to his room, but apparently he’s still here. Here and _gossiping_ about him with his mother.

**_Let’s join him in listening._ **

“It’s okay, really. I’ll let her know tomorrow. Although I think she got the picture today.”

“She seems like a nice woman. You should keep seeing her if you really want to. William will come around.”

“Sam, really it’s okay.”

“Oliver Queen! If you weren’t serious about her, why did you introduce her to our son?”

“She’s a teacher and has two kids of her own. I thought, you know, she might be able to get through to him.”

“Oh my god, William cannot dictate your dating life. You shouldn’t settle for someone just because you think she’ll be good with kids. You should date who you like, and William will just have to get used to them. I mean, as long as she’s good to him.”

“Of course! I would never—”

“I know. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It’s just... He’s turning into such a little _tyrant_. It’s exactly what I was afraid of for him as an only child.”

William frowns at his mother’s lamentation. He’s a _perfect angel_ , thank you very much. It’s not his fault he knows best, and life would be easier if anyone just accepted it and cooperated.

“Oh good. I’m glad it’s not just me noticing.”

When his father piles on, William huffs. He springs to his feet and really heads for his room, brain churning away. First, he needs a plan for his dad. Then he’ll plot his revenge.

That evening, his mom has to finish some paperwork so he and Zach load the dishwasher and go to play catch in the backyard.

William thinks it’s the perfect time to ask for an unbiased opinion.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure thing, sport.”

He doesn’t love the nickname, but Zach only uses it when they’re doing something sports-related, like a bad joke. A love of lame dad jokes is pretty much the worst thing about Zach so William begrudgingly tolerates it.

“Why don’t Dad and Felicity date?”

Zach pauses mid-throw, and the baseball falls limply to the grass. “Well,” he starts after picking up the ball, “they’ve been friends a long time. I’m guessing it’s because they’re not interested in one another like that.”

William nods thoughtfully, catching Zach’s throw with ease. “How do I make them interested in each other?”

This time, Zach’s glove falters, and the ball sails past him, rolling to the fence. He retrieves it and returns to his original position before huffing out, “That’s not exactly something you can _make_ people do, sport. Hearts don’t work like that.”

They toss the ball back and forth a few times as William contemplates the unsatisfactory answer.

“Why do you ask?” Zach questions abruptly, _suspiciously_.

“Oh you know,” William evades, shrugging in an innocent gesture, “just hormones.”

Zach coughs and refrains from any more follow up questions.

* * *

An hour later, he’s sitting back at the top of the stairs again, listening in on a slightly different set of parents in the kitchen.

“Figured out why William has so many problems with Oliver’s girlfriends.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He wants Oliver and Felicity to date.”

A snort from his usually graceful mother, then, “Get in line.”

* * *

**_To better understand this entire predicament, we should explain the specifics of William’s frustration._ **

The last time his mom asked him to be nice to one of his dad’s “friends” had not gone well, but that was hardly William’s fault. 

None of them were _right_.

For months now, he would sit on the plush couch in front of his dad’s TV and stubbornly shake his head each time a woman was introduced to him. Tall or short, brunette or blonde, intelligent or not so much, well-meaning or conniving. None of it made it a difference because none of them were right.

His mom, an amused smile tugging on her lips, shook her head as she folded the laundry. “Maybe he was being a little unrealistic?” was her question. _No_ , he shook his head again stubbornly, _absolutely not_ , was his answer.

By adhering to his strict set of qualifications, William found his mom a perfect match. Zach was tall, athletic, handsome, gainfully employed, smart but not condescending, and utterly devoted to his mom. He also remained slightly skittish around William, scared to lose his favor and good opinion, and William planned on milking that for as long as possible.

But his dad... 

His dad was a different problem entirely. Aunt Thea blamed his “misspent” youth with an exaggerated eye roll. William was starting to agree because none of the women Dad brought around were the right fit.

Some liked the attention of the Queen family but not the scrutiny. Some couldn’t accept that his dad had grown up from his misspent youth. Some were just plain awful. None of them passed William’s close inspection. He would sit in _that_ spot on the couch, and his dad would slump his shoulders after observing his shaking head, and the woman would no longer come around.

Normally, William wouldn’t be so concerned about gross adult matters, but he’s running out of time to complete his New Year’s resolution for the year: to find his dad a perfect partner.

* * *

**_The season of good cheer brings little change to the status of William’s progress and Oliver and Felicity’s relationship. But it’s not called the most magical time of the year for no reason. For, as you will see, William, although untried in matters of the heart, is a most determined matchmaker, and his quest continues._ **

Christmas passes to joyous effect. 

The cheesy movies his mom loves to watch would have envied their little blended family Christmas, with Dad, Aunt Thea, and Uncle Roy taking the train to Central City to celebrate with his mom’s side of the family. William tries hard not to think about his self-imposed deadline. But the season of good cheer and fuzzy feelings is fast coming to an end, and he’s heading to Starling City to spend the last half of the school break with his dad. It’s hard to strike the possibility of _failure_ from his mind.

“William!” 

He shakes himself from the stupor of staring at the Christmas photo from a few days ago, his family beaming smiles back at him, but all he could focus on was the awkward, _empty_ gap next to his dad. Automatically, he reaches for his red backpack and slides it on. He’s dragging a little though, mood dampened by his lack of progress and the fast-approaching deadline.

“Felicity’s here!”

That surprise puts a bounce in his step, and William shoots out of his room to find his mom and Felicity sharing a laugh and coffee in the kitchen.

Yes, the Hallmark Channel would pay an obscene amount to commercialize his unrealistic life where his dad is workout buddies with his stepdad and his mom calls his dad’s friends her own. Some days, all the camaraderie makes even William roll his eyes. Especially when it just means he has _several_ adults policing his life and best interests.

Usually, one or the other of his parents would run him back and forth between their houses. Once Felicity started making work trips to Central City, she offered to drive him whenever it was convenient. His parents, realizing that the time doubled as science and math tutoring that they couldn’t help with and certainly couldn’t find another genius to do, quickly agreed.

“Hey there, buddy!” Felicity greets him brightly, with a hair ruffle he’s getting far too old for. He suffers through with a good-natured grimace. “ _Nice_ backpack. Christmas present?”

She shares a conspiratorial grin with his mom who shrugs a little helplessly. So his grandparents on Mom’s side usually go a little overboard on the presents. Now that he’s getting older, he can tell that they’re still uneasy about his dad being involved and have been “banned” from Christmas Day celebrations until they come around. 

Okay, so he eavesdropped that last part, but it does explain why they wait until the day _after_ Christmas to visit his grandparents, instead of them coming over with the rest of the family. And why he didn’t just go to Starling City with Dad after Christmas dinner. And why they try to buy his affection and good opinion with gifts.

His mom follows them to the door, showering him with kisses that he secretly loves but pretends to only tolerate. 

“Be good,” she reminds him unnecessarily.

_**As he said earlier, William’s a perfect angel.** _

“No more rockets,” she reminds Felicity necessarily.

Felicity holds her hands up innocently. “Promise. At least the last one was a remote launch?” she offers a bit sheepish.

Laughing, his mom responds with, “Better Oliver’s windows than mine.”

Having met Donna Smoak multiple times by now, William knows that Felicity has always loved all the kids-oriented science and tech toys, especially since she didn’t get to actually play with them when she _was_ a kid. Both because Donna is utterly helpless in those areas and because they didn’t have the money when she was younger. He doesn’t mind at all though because he loves all of them, too, and setting them up with Felicity is much more fun than with his dad or Aunt Thea. 

(They usually struggle with the instructions, while Felicity does it all instinctively and loves helping him make modifications. Which was kind of why Dad had to replace the living room window.)

With one final wave to his mom, William turns his attention to his plan and its most important person, buckling up in the driver’s seat.

* * *

**_Time out._ **

**_First, we should explain a tad about William’s peculiar attitude towards his father’s “best friend.”_ **

**_This anecdote should suffice._ **

Once, William tried calling her Aunt Felicity, like actual Aunt Thea and honorary Uncle Dig. The title soured on his tongue, and he never uttered it again. 

Felicity is destined for a much _different_ relationship, one that involves a seven-letter title and will complete his full set of _four_ parents, and William isn’t going to jinx the chances. 

Uncle Dig is fond of advising him to “begin as you mean to go on” when it comes to dealing with bullies, so William takes it to heart and applies it to all aspects of his life. His parents’ insistence on bedtimes and vegetables sometimes overcome that attitude, but in this case, his genetic propensity towards stubbornness, inherited from _both_ sides, wins out.

He isn’t going to _begin_ calling her Aunt Felicity just in case it continues to _go on_.

Well, continues to go on for longer than it’s already going, which has been approximately forever.

* * *

**_Time in._ **

He’s unsure how to put the wheels in motion, but William figures it can’t hurt to start with their favorite subject.

“Felicity, is there a science to love?”

To his confusion, she freezes, her hands tightening on the steering wheel. “Is this about girls? Or boys? I’m not— You know, whichever, _whoever_.”

“I’m 12,” he replies, deadpan.

Her forehead creases, and she continues rambling, “Isn’t that about the age hormones kick in? I think this might be a better conversation to have with someone who didn’t spend the first seventeen years of life buried in computer parts.”

William sighs. No wonder she and his dad can’t get their act together if this is how oblivious Felicity can be. So he tries again. More directly this time.

“Felicity, is there a scientific reason Dad can’t find love?”

She splutters for a moment, takes her eyes off the road to eye him incredulously, then quickly swivels back to traffic. “Uh, William, I don’t think your dad has any trouble in that area. Wait, no, I mean—”

“I know what you meant. I’m 12,” he interrupts her with an awkward grin.

Adjusting her glasses, she nods anxiously. “Right. How does 12 mean something different this time around compared to a minute ago?”

“I don’t know,” he replies honestly. “It’s just— _Is_ there a science to it? Because Mom barely dated before Zach who’s awesome, but Dad dates _all the time_ and they’re not awesome.”

Felicity shrugs again, “I mean, I wouldn’t say your dad dates _all_ the time.”

Unsatisfied with the attempted deflection, William counters, “He’s out, like, every other night at some fundraiser and always has a different date.”

“Oliver hasn’t had a date in months. _I_ go with him to those stupid things. _Not_ that charity is stupid. Just that monetary donations when there’s no true compassion behind it is a little disingenuous, even if nonprofits aren’t in a position to be turning down free money just because the donors are more concerned about bragging rights.”

“I know,” William nods sagely because both his mom and dad take him to volunteer on the weekends. Then he gives Felicity a _Look_ that says he knows she’s stalling.

“Look, William, I’m guessing you asked me because I can normally give you answers that are right or wrong, black or white, but this time there’s not one. You’ll learn as you grow up, but sometimes people find their right partner easily, sometimes they choose the wrong person at first, sometimes it takes years for emotions to grow, you never know. There’s just no right answer or right way to go about relationships. But you shouldn’t compare your parents. Just because a relationship ends, doesn’t mean it was a failure. Each person can help you grow and discover things about yourself, and sometimes you should view relationships through that kind of lens, rather than a be-all-end-all type of thing. Do you get me?”

William takes a moment to absorb the rambling, roundabout advice from his favorite scientist and future step— 

**_No, don’t jinx it, young William._ **

Like she said, it’s nothing like Felicity’s usual answers and, while thought-provoking, not quite what he expected her to say. Although his mom would say he was being unrealistic to expect Felicity’s answer to be, “Well, your dad is bad at math and can’t see that him plus me equals soulmates.” But this is exactly what he means about always being right and life going smoother if everyone would just cooperate.

“Is something going on, Will?” Felicity glances over with a concerned frown, “You know you can talk to me, or any of us really, about anything? I just mean, what makes you ask _now?_ ”

It worked so well last time. William barely hesitates before he shrugs, “You know, just hormones.”

Felicity coughs in surprise then glares at him. She mumbles something that starts with, “When _I_ was 12...” before focusing back on the road.

Turning to look out his window, William sighs. This is going to be harder than he thought. He may even need reinforcements.

* * *

**_With no time to waste, William sets about devising a strategy. He’s rudderless and hopeless until..._ **

Recalling the conversation with Felicity sparks something in William’s mind. He realizes that perhaps the best way to go about this relies on something he learned years ago, a process he has already, unwittingly, started. Felicity might not think there’s a science to love, but William is confident the scientific method can provide a solution to his specific problem.

_Step One: Ask a question_. Well, he already did that with Zach.

_Step Two: Do background research_. Talking to Felicity definitely counted.

Which means he’s now on _Step Three: Construct a hypothesis_.

_Easy enough_ , William assumes, _just need an if-then formulation_. He pauses the Rockets game and looks to the kitchen, where Felicity is keeping his dad company as he makes dinner. Dad places a dot of whipped cream on the end of Felicity’s nose, and she blushes hard before wiping her face and swatting at his arm. He catches her hand and tugs her towards him to place a kiss against her temple.

William rolls his eyes and restarts the game. That was almost _too_ easy.

Hypothesis: _If Dad and Felicity pull their heads out of their butts, then they’ll realize they’re perfect for each other (and I’ll complete my New Year’s resolution)._

Now for _Step Four: Test with an experiment_.

* * *

“Dad, do I have to meet another one of your _dates_ at the New Year’s party?”

William pretends to sulk, like he’s actually annoyed and inconvenienced. He pretends not to notice when his dad exchanges a look with Felicity because apparently they’ve already talked about that love and science question. He pretends he can’t tell they’re practically already co-parenting him.

“Uh no,” Dad says, with a bright red face, “Why do you ask?”

Felicity sends his dad a wide-eyed expression, like, “Just you wait for _this_ answer.”

William, in a very rare instance, knowingly disappoints her, “Want to see if I have to practice my polite face.” Then he entirely changes victims, “Felicity, are _you_ bringing a date? I liked what’s-his-face. Billy. He was cool.”

That’s a baldfaced lie. (But Christmas is already over, and William’s far too old to believe in Santa Claus.) Billy was _not_ cool. He wasn’t _bad_ but he just wasn’t right for Felicity, like how none of his dad’s exes have been right for him.

Felicity coughs and sends him a(nother) suspicious glare. “No, Billy and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. And I’m not bringing a date, for whatever that’s worth.”

“Oh, okay,” William gives an exaggerated frown then lights up, “Maybe you two should just be each other’s dates then. You usually spend the whole night talking to each other anyway.”

Once his dad’s recovered from _his_ coughing fit, William’s sent to his room without dessert. He deems his experiment inconclusive.

**_Have no fear. Our intrepid scientist is not so easily defeated. What kind of hero would young William be if he gave up at the first obstacle?_ **

As he prepares for bed, William recalls an important aspect of scientific experimentation: repetition.

* * *

The next day provides the perfect opportunity. Dad drags him to the grocery store under the guise of father-son bonding, but really to use William’s smart mouth as a defense against the women who aim to find a boyfriend in the produce section. They’re in the store not more than five minutes before William’s turning doe eyes at a cooing woman and asking, “Will you be my new mommy? The sixth one just left.”

After she’s scampered away, father and son exchange an eye roll and a fist bump and go back to inspecting squashes. Bored, William glances around and spies an actual viable target. He nudges his unsuspecting father and stares obviously at the oranges until his dad follows his eyeline.

“She’s pretty. Maybe you should ask her to the New Year’s Eve party.”

His dad coughs, and the squash falls back to the pile. “What’s going on with you? You’re being weird.”

William doesn’t even try to deny it. Instead, he gets right to the heart of the matter, even if it means his dad looks like his heart is about to give out. “You’re not getting any younger, Dad. Neither is Felicity.”

Dad fixes him with a _Look_ and ignores the first statement. “You still need to apologize to her for being so rude last night, William. Those questions were inappropriate. And what does Felicity have to do with anything?”

His sigh is frustrated. This trial would go a lot faster if his dad weren’t so oblivious. “You guys _are_ the only single adults I know. And Felicity’s great, she’s really smart and pretty and funny. I just think it’s weird she’s still single. Like you’re still single. That is weird, right, Dad?”

His dad pivots away and starts picking through a pile of broccoli. _Great_ , now he’s being punished for being this nosy. “Are you even old enough to be thinking about these kinds of things?”

“Well, I _do_ so,” William shrugs, all nonchalance, “yeah, I guess. Don’t you ever think about it? How if Felicity started dating someone, because she’s too great not to eventually, then she wouldn’t hang out with us so much anymore?”

His dad narrows his eyes suspiciously, and William does his level best to try to look innocent. “Felicity’s always going to love you, William. No matter what happens in her dating life. You know that, right?”

“Sure,” he shrugs again like it’s nothing, like it’s not unofficially part of his motivation in this whole endeavor. “It’ll just be different. If there’s some other guy always around, and it’s not just the three of us.”

A strange look crosses his dad’s face as he weakly reassures him, “Different isn’t necessarily bad.” Then he picks up his phone, opens the message thread with Felicity, and turns away from William’s prying eyes.

William covers his smile by skipping off to the ice cream freezers. When he returns with a pint of mint chip, to replace the one Felicity finished last night, his dad is mumbling about her coming over for dinner. Again. For the second night in a row. Which she never does to avoid intruding on their guy time. Which means Dad had to _convince_ her.

This time, he doesn’t bother to hide his smile.

**Trial Two results: altered behavior.**

* * *

**_Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, William decides not to push his luck. He lulls his father and Felicity into a false sense of comfort with a dinner of relative normalcy. Without any of his jaw-dropping questions, they freely laugh and tease as they usually do, but little do they know, William’s keen eyes are observing every interaction, adding them to his tally._ **

**Trial Three results: too many affirmations to count.**

* * *

The morning after that provides the perfect opportunity to run Trial Four with Felicity. She’s come over with her (belated) Christmas gift for him, a new drone they’re going to fly in the park down the block. Dad’s holed up in his home office, presumably doing _something_ , but William gets the feeling he’s just avoiding his nosy questions.

“Hey, Felicity,” William prompts when she’s just launched the drone and is staring up at the sky to keep it on track.

“Yeah, bud?” is her distracted answer.

“Is that guy good-looking?”

He points across the grass to a man, probably in the neighborhood of Felicity’s age and walking a golden retriever. Felicity glances down, then shoots her eyes right back to the sky. Her face turns as red as his (William knows the answer already even if he’s not going to admit it to anyone) before she’s mumbling, “I mean, objectively, sure, I guess.”

“So maybe you should ask him to be your date to the New Year’s Eve party?” he blurts out before she can ask _why_ he’s asking.

Felicity doesn’t answer him right away. She lands the drone right back in front of them then turns to him with a concerned look. “Will, is something going on at school? Not that you’re in school right now. I mean, with your friends or something? Is someone putting pressure on you about relationships or... whatever really? You’ve just had a lot of questions lately, and they all revolve around the same thing, but I can’t figure out what’s sparked the sudden interest.”

William’s still red. He should have known Felicity would notice the pattern in his behavior _and_ be the one to confront him on it. Still, he can at least _try_ to play it off. “I guess, it’s just, like, holiday commercials and stuff.”

She raises a disbelieving eyebrow, and he sighs.

“Sorry that I want you to be happy or whatever. You spend a lot of time with me and Dad, and I like when you do, but, I don’t know, maybe you want a boyfriend or someone. Just trying to help, _okay?_ ” He stresses the last word like she’s annoying him, and it has the intended effect.

Felicity smiles and rolls her eyes a little bit. “Yes, that’s _okay_ ,” she teases right back, “but you know people don’t need to be in relationships to be happy, right? That’s just commercials and Hollywood. Don’t worry about me, kid. I’ve got a pretty sweet life, just the way it is.”

Well, see, now William feels bad. Because Felicity _does_ have a sweet life, and he’s not trying to make her feel bad about being single or anything. It’s just— He wants her— _them_ —to have a _perfect_ life, and he knows exactly how to get there, if only everyone would just cooperate already. But maybe he’s wrong. Maybe his dad and Felicity _are_ happy as best friends, and all he’s going to do by pushing his experiment is make them awkward around each other. And then Felicity won’t hang out as much anymore, and it won’t have anything to do with a boyfriend but be his fault instead.

“Oh,” Felicity sighs at his scrunched forehead and pulls him into a side hug, “I know you didn’t mean it like _that_ , Will. It’s sweet that you’re looking out for me. But I promise you, as long as I have you and your dad, I’ve got no complaints. In fact, you’re about the only two guys I want to spend my time with. My two favorites, but don’t tell your Uncle Dig that.”

And then she goes and says things like that, and William’s certain he got it right the first time. With renewed purpose, he beams at her. Then, just to make sure she thinks the issue is truly put to bed, he makes a grab for the controller.

**_What’s an experiment without a healthy dose of doubt and skepticism? But, crisis averted, William’s got just what he was looking for._ **

**Trial Four results: verbal confirmation.**

* * *

**_That night at the dinner table, William’s expression paints a pensive picture. Unbeknownst to him, his father casts a wary glance at the unusually quiet William and contemplates phoning the boy’s mother for advice. William notices none of that because he is far too busy concentrating on_ Step Five: Analyze data and draw a conclusion.**

**_The data is this: his father (like him) fears losing Felicity’s time and attention; the two of them (and also the three of them) are happiest when together; and Felicity claims his father (and him) as her favorite._ **

**_His conclusion is thus: hypothesis supported. If Dad and Felicity pull their heads out of their butts, then they’ll realize they’re perfect for each other._ **

**_But now what?_ **

* * *

The New Year’s Eve party arrives with much trepidation on William’s part. Although his experiment has proven successful, the data analyzed, his conclusion drawn, and his hypothesis supported, he’s lacked ideas for _Step Six: Communicate results_. It should be a simple task, but plenty of others have made the same suggestion or assumption to his dad and Felicity only for them to laugh it off.

_The adults are mingling and networking, and no one’s paying much attention to him, so William seizes the opportunity. He jumps on stage, grabs the unattended microphone, and clears his throat right into the thing. Light feedback squeals through the speakers, and the attendees cease their conversations, turning toward the stage. All eyes on him, William cowers from the sudden attention. Aunt Thea is giving him a nod of encouragement, though, so he braces himself and digs down deep for that Queen confidence and bravado. Suddenly, he’s glad the party is mostly adults, strangers really, who won’t be at his school next week to mock this colossally awkward thing he’s about to do._

William tries to imagine it, he really does, but even just the thought of public speaking makes him want to hurl into the nearest potted plant. Instead, he spots the adults at issue—next to each other, still, of course, always—and grabs each one by the hand, pulling them down an empty hallway.

“Will,” his dad’s laughing, amused by his antics but also probably glad to get away from the party, “What’s going on?”

“I have something I need to tell you guys,” he announces with a bright smile.

His dad and Felicity exchange a _Look_ and they both straighten up, suddenly serious and attentive.

“ _Now?_ ” his dad asks, wide-eyed and vaguely panicked. “You don’t want to wait for your mom and Zach? Tell all of us at the same time? You don’t have to, of course. I just thought”—Felicity stops his uncharacteristic rambling with a gentle touch to his arm, and he abruptly clears his throat—“I mean, sure, go ahead. We’re all ears.”

With a furrowed brow, William starts, “What do _Mom_ and _Zach_ have to do—” Then he cuts himself off and forces himself back on track. “I’ve been conducting an experiment. I wanted to tell you the results.”

“An experiment?” Another glance at Felicity. “Does this have to do with all your questions lately? I swear, it’s been like when you were three again.”

“Uh, sort of. I mean, _yes_. Like I said, science experiment, very official methodology, I even ran multiple trials and I’m ready to present my conclusion.”

Felicity’s proudly beaming at him. If he gave her another second, she’d probably be gushing something like, “My little scientist, all grown up,” but he doesn’t give her that second. William rushes it all out in one breath.

“ _YouandFelicityloveeachotherandshouldbetogether_.”

His dad sputters once he’s deciphered the mess of syllables. “William! This is ridiculous. You’re not a little kid anymore and you’re completely overstepping boundaries.”

“But _Dad_ —”

With an agitated shake of his head, his father interrupts, “No, William. You don’t get to snap your fingers and have people do what you want, when you want it. That’s not how life works and that’s definitely not how your mom and I want you treating people.”

“ _You_ don’t understand!” William bursts out with rare frustration, “I’m not trying to get what _I_ want. I’m trying to fix this.”

Somehow, that takes the wind out of his dad’s frustrated sails. He rubs a hand over his face and blows out a heavy sigh. “Fix what now?”

“You and Felicity. You guys belong together. It’s, like, _science_.”

Felicity, quiet up until now, finally pipes up after his dad sends her a pleading look. “Will, we talked about this. I promise you there’s no science to love.”

“Right,” he agrees with an agitated nod, “There’s no science to, like, falling or staying in love. But that’s not what I mean. I’ve been using the scientific method to prove you guys are _already_ in love. Dad, you freaked out when I talked about Felicity dating and spending less time with us. Felicity, you told me that Dad’s your favorite and the only guy you want to spend time with. You’re both just happier with each other. See? The data supports my hypothesis.”

Even though she’s looking as shell-shocked as his dad, Felicity manages to ask, “Which is?”

“If you guys pulled your heads out of your butts, then you’d realize you’re perfect for each other,” William mumbles. He’s suddenly shy now that he’s saying it out loud to the two people whose lives it affects the most.

“My head is _not_ up my butt,” Felicity retorts, offended. Then she realizes what he’s really saying and focuses. “Look, Will, I’m not calling you dumb, I promise, but you’re still young and you lack certain life experiences. So I get how from the outside, it might _look_ like your dad and I are _in_ love, but we’re not. We love each other, but it’s a very platonic, _friend_ love. Your conclusion isn’t wrong, per se. It just... It’s just that life has more nuances than just the variables you employed. If that makes any sense.”

William’s gaping at her so it’s up to his dad to grumble (fondly), “Felicity, I’m a full-grown adult and I could barely follow that.”

“He’s smarter than you,” she whips right back with an eye roll, and his dad doesn’t even deny it. “What I’m trying to say is that love and emotions are complicated. Even the most well-designed of experiments isn’t going to capture all that. So while _some_ of your conclusion is right—your dad and I do love each other—that’s not the whole picture.”

“What _is_ the whole picture?” 

William sends his dad a weird look after they ask the question simultaneously. He can practically see the wheels turning in his dad’s brain and pounces on the opportunity to try to make the same happen for Felicity’s. “Okay, you say it could look like you’re in love, but you’re not because you’re just “friends”, right?”

Felicity glares playfully. “Don’t you use air quotes on me, young man.”

“So prove it,” William challenges. “Prove to me there’s no _romantic_ love between you two, and I’ll drop it. Now and forever.”

“How are we supposed to—”

“ _Felicity_ ,” his dad interrupts in a low rumble. There’s an unfamiliar expression on his face, and William feels a little forgotten and invisible as he steps up to Felicity, “I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to kiss.”

“Oh—”

The quiet sound escapes Felicity just before his dad pulls her closer by the waist. She goes easily, her hands finding his shoulders then smoothing up to his neck. Like a gentleman, he doesn’t kiss her but waits an inch away and lets Felicity lean in the last breath. 

Just before they make contact, William cringes, slams his hands over his eyes, and spins around. He counts to ten then loudly asks, with a hint of desperation, “Are you done?”

“Yes,” is Felicity’s barely audible answer.

When he turns back around, they’re standing a foot apart and looking very flustered. William’s never seen his dad turn that particular shade of red before. He raises an expectant eyebrow, barely holding in his triumphant smile.

His dad clears his throat, rubs his hands together in that nervous gesture, and starts, “Felicity was right...”

William’s smile dies. It throws itself off the nearest cliff like William wants to do because he just awkwardly conned his father and his father’s best friend into kissing, like the tyrant his mother called him, when there was _nothing_ between them all along. If he’s ruined their dynamic, he’s going home to his mother’s and never coming back to Star City. Ever. Again.

Then his dad—his evil, conniving, manipulative father—finishes with, “You _are_ smarter than me. Than both of us apparently.”

William waits a second to make sure this is really real life. They could be about to pull a fast one on him again, right? But their matching, blinding smiles are just the extra proof he needs.

“Yes! I was right!”

Felicity laughs at his jumping fist pump then goes all bashful when his dad loops an arm around her shoulders and tugs her solidly into his chest. William doesn’t wait for whatever display of affection is about to scar his vision. He jets down the hallway, calling for his Aunt Thea and Uncle Dig.

**_If young William weren’t so eager to communicate the results of his experiment, he would have been privy to the following conversation, but we’ll carry on the tradition of eavesdropping on his parents, or parent and soon-to-be parent, in his stead._ **

“What even made you go along with that? You told me that whatever scheme he had, you weren’t going to cave to his demands this time.”

“You kept saying you love me but just as a friend. It made me realize that I _do_ love you as more than a friend and that I wanted to hear you say it every day for the rest of our lives.”

“That’s what was going in your brain while I was launching a dissertation at your kid to explain that men and women can be just friends?”

“So obviously I had to convince you with a kiss. And somehow I did?”

“Well, I’ve been telling myself I’m not in love with you for ages, but it’s hard to keep it up when _that’s_ what happens when we kiss.”

“What happens when we kiss?”

“Oliver, I thought they set off the fireworks early and inside.”

“Yep, same. Totally in love with you. Don’t know how I’ve been missing it.”

“If it helps any, I’m apparently as in love with you as it looks from the outside.”

* * *

**_And they lived happily—_ **

**_Wait, no, sorry. There’s still one more scene to this fairy-tale ending._ **

* * *

Two years later, William peeks into a bassinet. He wasn’t _allowed_ to stay at the hospital all night, on account of being too young, so Zach drove them over first thing in the morning. His parents, all _four_ of them, are cautiously awaiting his reaction.

A smile splits his face. Even though he wanted a brother, William can’t help his know-it-all tone when he crows, “I _told_ you she’d be a girl.”

His mom grins at Felicity, exhausted but exuberant in the hospital bed. “Thanks for fixing his only child problem.”

* * *

**_And (when they listened to William) they lived happily ever after._ **


End file.
